bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.