OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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