they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
