i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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