Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
