No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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