I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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