I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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