My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
