Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I AM VODKA MAN
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
