I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
