i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
