I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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