i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
