I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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