it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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