About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize