you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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