We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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