i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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