Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
