Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
