i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
