i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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