She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Randomize
