Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
