if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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