I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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