There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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