He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
barbara walters just said penis...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
