Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
