I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
