Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
