Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Porn is love you can see.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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