Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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