Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize