But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
