The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i now understand why vodka
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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