Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
