i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
