we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
