found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
