"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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