had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
