I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
