that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
