He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
