i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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