i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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