she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
