when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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