I'll bet she douches with gravy.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
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