You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
