my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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