she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Its about making memories worth repressing
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
