so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
