if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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