U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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