I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
